#I am not making this up

[titleknown]

In news of "Things that happened to me that sound like Creepypasta bullshit," I was told I had received a package that in fact did not come to my door by the UPS tracking site, and when I clicked on the photo they supposedly took to prove they'd delivered it, all I got was this specific ominous red gradient:

Like, fuck me, they sent it to the pain dimension I guess!

[notscarsafe]

"Who knows, maybe I'm pregnant!"

-Skizzleman on going to the urgent care for a rash on a Truly Cursed Livestream February 13th, 2023

[bludraws094]

the most adult thing in the book of bill is toxic yaoi

. and cocaine

and alcohol

but mostly the yaoi

[sarue]

William Shatner did NOT have to get up on that stage in the year of our lord 2024 and gush about Ricardo Montalbán's tits BUT HE DID. HE DID GO UP THERE AND GUSH ABOUT RICARDO MONTALBÁN'S TITS. AND THEN HE STARTED YAPPING ABOUT REPTILES

[joeyclaire]

made the mistake of explaining brat to my elderly relatives and now they’re calling everything brat.

[avephelis]

When i was younger i used to take adderall but i hated hated HATED having to swallow the pill so my parents would open up the pill capsule and stir the contents into a protein shake that i would then drink. anyway do you think that emizel does that now except instead of yogurt drink its blood

i did think about that but i'm not sure if vampire mechanics let you contaminate blood post-extraction so unsure if it'd work. i shall ask my friend to consult the page on juicers in the handbook. also it is less gay.

[adverbian]

I had a nightmare that George F. Will, right-wing asshole columnist extraordinaire, wrote a column about how he just learned that fanfiction exists and how much he hates it. Apparently it’s a symbol of the decline of Western civilization (which everything is with him). He specifically went after @copperplatebeech ‘s latest. I woke up ready to fight him myself.

So y’all, go read Bonding Rituals so you can stick it to the George F. Will who apparently lives in my nightmares.

[antigerrymanderingspiderman]

why are these gay fifteen year olds judging me for saying i’ve never been in a relationship?

[eighthdoctor]

today i remembered that chess skill is genetically heritable on gor

[blurryfce300]

pov you’re a cast member øn tom sawyer island on september 18th, 2023:

[flintstill]

Anyone else remember that CSI episode where they determined the professional poker player died of lead poisoning because he ate 1lb of m&m’s at every poker game, and they still used leaded gasoline where the cocoa originated from, and those trace amount cumulated to lethal toxicity?

Wild.

[notscarsafe]

"Fraternities are more like 'Pants Off' is okay!"

-Ethoslab arguing they need a Fratenity rather than a cult this Hermitcraft season on Zombiecleo/Scar Livestream February 26th, 2024

[lilisouless]

That guy stans are so pro-war that they´ll argue pimping out a child is okay because "thats what a war general does, he is a grey character!"

[team5ds]

also god. for a series almost 200 episodes long, there's actually surprisingly very little dueling in yugioh 5ds. you'd think they could've at least added five more aki duels. like. easily. shortened the wrgp and slotted in a few more rights for women. but no. it's more important we have a random duel between yusei and [checks notes] a robot guard.

[titleknown]

...You ever think about how funny it is that one of the easiest places to find artbooks is on E-Hentai of all places? Like, SFW ones, rare ones, a lot of them that haven't even been translated into English.

Like, I get why, it's so under-the-radar that antipiracy nonsense won't look there, but still...

[joepelling]

the other night i dreamed i slid into joe’s dms to wish him a happy birthday and he actually responded and we talked about zodiacs